Today's jokes [11.3.09]

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Q: Why do women wake up with a brain the size of a pea?
A: It swells up over night.

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to
mention that he had gotten circumcised last week.
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptly
dropped his pants to show off his cock.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"

   A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in
   it. He turns around to
   push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her
   breast. He says, "Oh, I'm
   so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be
   able to forgive me." She
   looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your penis
   is as hard as your
   elbow, I'm in room 204."
   

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?

He has an Adam's apple that isn't an apple
Two calves that will never become cows
A nose bridge that doesn't lead anywhere
A roof of the mouth that won't cover anything
Twenty nails that won't hold a board
A chest that won't hold linen
Two boobs that won't give milk
Two buns that won't feed anyone
A belly button that won't button
Two balls that won't roll
An ass that won't pull a plow
An organ that won't play music
A cock that won't crow

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body,
he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.
One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his
body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over,
except his penis, and he decies to do something about it.
He goes to the beach, strips completey and burries himself
in the sand, except for his penis sticking out of the sand.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one
looks down and says "There is no justice in this world".
The other lady says "What do you mean?"
The first lady says "Look at that".
When I was 10 Yeras old I was afriad of it.
When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild 

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