Today's jokes [11.21.09]

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   This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny
   wearing a red firefighter's hat and sitting in a red wagon which is
   being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little
   closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the
   dog's testicles, which may explain why the dog is walking so slowly.
   Going up to the kid, he said,"That's a nice fire engine you got there,
   but I bet it would go faster if you have the rope around the dog's
   neck."
   "Yeah," the kid replied."But I wouldn't have a siren."

Chain Letter Type lI:  Make a wish!!!

(This is where you have to scroll down)







Really, go on and make one wish!!!









Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!!












Wish something else!!!










Not *that* either, you pervert!!










Is your finger getting tired yet?











You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!!

Wasn't that fun?  Hope you made a great wish.  Now, to make you feel guilty,
here's what I'll do.  First of all, if you don't send this to a certain
number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and
then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.  It's true!   Because
, you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes.

Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.

5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.

10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset with you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

   A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem.
   The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go
   behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but
   went ahead anyway.
   
   When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of
   and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked
   but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do
   what the doctor said.
   
   As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs
   and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin
   right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive
   'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
   
   Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main
   cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much
   liquid before going to bed.
   
   "So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?"
   
   "Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."
   

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of 
hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with 
their pinkies and say "Hi there little boy!!"

One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always 
wave at him with their pinkies. They reply: "well, that is what size 
we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke!"

The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The 
young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all 
his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, "HI 
THERE LADIES!

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously
knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was
as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. 
"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you
play with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderful
tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you
make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." 
The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling
over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through
-- and over the balcony railing to the ground 40 floors down.
Just then Paul's date walked out. 

"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" 
"To tell the the truth, " he replied, "he seemed a little
depressed to me." 

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