Today's jokes [11.11.09]

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A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason
the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked
what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked
and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's
Day, you don't even tell me so much as "Thank you."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten
a Father's Day gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."

How do you make love to a fat girl?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot. 

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jewish American Princess with a 
computer?

A: A computer that never goes down on you. 

How do you give a cowboy a hard-on?

Moooo-ooo-ooo 

It has been determined that having sex before participating
in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not
impair the athlete's performance. In fact, men have known
and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance
at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"

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