Today's stories [10.4.09]

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The Criminally Stupid Bank Robber


In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of
America, walked into a local branch and wrote, "this iz a
stikkup.  Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller,
he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
that they might call the police before he even reached the teller
window.  So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to
Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller.  She read it, noticing all of his spelling
errors.  She quickly surmised that he wasn't the brightest light
in the harbor.

Then she told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that
he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left.  The Wells
Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and 
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I 
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

A man comes into the ER and yells "My wife's going to have her baby in 
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's 
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there 
are several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

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