Today's stories [10.3.09] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
Lieutenant Colonel Rick Francona served as lead military translator during America's negotiations with the Iraqis at the end of the Gulf War: "Good morning, sir," Francona told an arriving Iraqi general one day. "I am Major Francona from General Norman Schwarzkopf's staff. If you will step out of the car, I will take you to meet the general, and we can begin." When the general remained motionless, recalcitrantly glowering, Francona leaned in closer and rephrased his request in Arabic slang: "Get out of the car, f---face." The negotiations began shortly thereafter.
Of the Greek prime minister Plasteras, Winston Churchill once remarked: "Well, I hope he doesn't have feet of clay, too."
I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren't able to call people at home during dinner hour. But that doesn't make it any more pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed "Three Little Words" based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are "Hold On, Please." Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time- consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company's beep-beep-beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you'll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31