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Today's stories [10.28.09]

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I had some surgery on my shoulder about 5 or 6 years ago, and 
then underwent several weeks of physical therapy. On my final 
visit, the therapist gave me some exercises to do at home, 
informing me I'd need a partner to help me with them. That 
night my husband and I celebrated my recovery with an 
especially boisterous romp in the boudoir.  The next morning I 
told him I had some exercises for my shoulder that I needed his 
help with. With a sly grin he asked, "Did we do any of them
last night?"

1. 




State Trooper on the NYS Thruway (I90) gave me a ticket 
the other day.  Speeding?  No.
     I was driving in the Granny lane (slow) and the Trooper 
pulled up beside me.  I hit a pheasent that stepped into the 
road from the shoulder.  Flew across the lane, hit the 
Trooper's windshield and broke it.
     The Trooper gave me the ticket for flipping him the bird.



2. 




I had to go through a needle location biopsy recently.
This involves putting a 6 inch needle through a most sensitive
part of a woman's anatomy.  I had to sit there alone with
this thing pierced through my anatomy and I wondered, "Is
this how a whale feels?"  It occured to me, "I'm big, I'm 
white, I'm gay, and I have been harpooned!  That must make
me Moby Dyke!" My friends now call me "MD".

3. 



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