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Today's stories [10.11.09]

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Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising
altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to
autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for
the rest of the flight."


I once worked as a contractor in another state, and another 
girl on the team, also a contractor from quite a distance 
away, was constantly ratting out other members of the team 
to the boss, and was snippy and always overreacted to any 
kind of language or inference to any sort of sexual topic.  
She was constantly offended at our frequent joke-telling.
One Friday she was going to drive home - several states 
away -  for the weekend.  Before she left, I stuck a bumper 
sticker on the roof of her car (she was short so couldn't see it 
up there) and the sticker said "I LIKE TO ---- TRUCKERS.  
HONK IF YOU WANT ME TO PULL OVER"  (the blank wasn't 
blank on the sticker). I can only guess what kind of a ride 
home she had.  If she ever even GOT there....

Sent by Jennifer


An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."  He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart 
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"


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