Today's quotes [10.7.09]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"You stop that. You scare my chickens."
-- Wing Commander IV, when you quit
"Why is the sky blue?"
"It's a fault in the universe's ray tracing algorithm."
-- me, AndrewR
Don DeLillo describing "Cocksucker Blues", the documentary about
the Rolling Stones' 1972 tour:
"It's the same show, the same city, the same motherfucking band
of emaciated millionaire pricks and their Negro bodyguards."
Although they have tried to cover up the fact that mad cow disease
exists the government has finally given up to public pressure
demanding they reveal the truth, however they are still insisting
that this fatal infection is no worse than a broken leg. No worse
than a broken leg? I once had a broken leg and it hurt like
It's one thing to have to explain to a man why a billion dollar
measure has been vetoed, but it is much more difficult to explain
to a woman why the cap of the toothpaste has not been put back on.
- W. C. Fields
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31