Today's quotes [10.2.09]

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"My dad was always really protective of his tools...well, not THAT tool...
 O.K., so he was pretty protective of that one too, but I'm talking about
 the tools that you make stuff with...well, sure, I suppose he DID make
 _me_ with that particular one, but...OH NEVERMIND.  My dad always told me
 that if some alien came around trying to borrow my phillips screwdriver
 that I should just stab him/her/it/them with it."
                        -- Lt. Wilkes, my role model

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
   Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
   Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
   principles or your mistress."

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
 And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew
 them like applesauce they taste more like prunes than a rhubarb does.
 Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know."
                        -- Groucho Marx

"Shoot for the stars, otherwise gravity gets in your way."

                                        -Cathy Middleton-

"If you tape a piece of buttered bread to 
the back of a cat butter side up and drop 
the cat, which will hit the ground, the 
cats fet or the buttered side of the 
bread?...Neither the assembly will reach 
a elevation of one foot from the ground 
and start to spin uncontrollably, 
perpetual motion."

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