Today's poems [10.26.09]

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There was an old hag named Le Sueur 
            Who just was an out-and-out whore. 
                Between her big tits 
                You could come for two bits, 
            And she'd fuck in any old sewer. 

                    A lonely young lad of Eton
                            
                    Used always to sleep with the heat on,
                            Till he ran into a lass
                            Who showed him her ass---
                            
                    Now they sleep with only a sheet on.
                            

Brian is an idiot!
 And everybody knows
 When he goes to bed at night
 He puts polish on his toes

 Brian is so stupid
 He sucks himself all day
 And when I went to a farm once
 And saw him eating hay

 Brian is a numbskull
 He loves a girl named Jade
 And he wanted her to kiss him so much
 Once he even paid

There was a young man from St. Paul
Whose cock was exceedingly small.
Now it might do for a keyhole
Or a little girl's peehole.
But for a big girl like me, not at all. 

As His Holiness signed my petition 
               He said,"I take this position: 
                    Here shines a clean mind, 
                    For nowhere can I find 
               A single lubricious omission!" 

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