Today's poems [10.11.09]
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To Italy went Sinclair Lewis
Documenting the life led by loose
But he unpacked his trunks
'Cause Florence slipped him a goose.
There was a young lady named Rose
Who'd occasionally straddle a hose,
And parade about squirting
And spouting and spurting,
Pretending she pissed like her beaux
She was seen by her cousin named Anne,
Who improved the original plan.
She said, "My dear Rose,
In this lowly old hose
Are all the best parts of a man."
So, avoiding the crude and sadistic,
She frigged in a manner artistic:
At the height of her pleasure
She turned up the pressure,
And cried, "Ain't it grand and realistic!"
They soon told the Duchess of Fyfe,
And her crony, the alderman's wife;
And they found it so pleasing,
And tickling and teasing
That they washed men right out of their life.
It was tried by the great Mrs. Biddle,
And she said to her husband, "Go fiddle!
Here's double the fun,
And you get three in one---
A ducking, a douche, and a diddle."
It was tried by the dancer, Di Basle,
Whose cunt was just made for a nozzle.
She said, "I admit
It's an elegant fit,
But of course it won't do for the arse 'ole."
It was tried by the Duchess of Porter,
And passed on by her to her daughter,
Who said, "With a leman
You're fearful of semen,
But a fuck's as effective with water."
Thus writes Lady Vanderbilt-Horsett,
Who invented the Lonely-Maid Corset:
"I thought all vicarious
I was wrong. It's a whiz. I endorse it.
Soon in Paris, on the Boulevard Salique,
You sould purchase (complet avec talic,
Pour soixante francs cinq)
A short hose and a tank,
And they call it Le Fuckeur Hydraulique.
I'm sure you can't imagine
it's as simple as can be
the place is very private
the players are he and she
She whispers softly it will hurt
of course not he replied
It's just a simple proscess
lay back and close your eyes
She say's I'm rather frightned
I've never done this before
He wanted to continue
it won't hurt much more
It's getting rather painfull
as tears come to her eyes
it's hurting something awful
it must be quite a size
Calm yourself my darling
the pleasure refolds your sin
Now open slightly
so I can fit more in
Suddenly with a jerk
she gave a shout
Now that it's all over with
He slowly pulled it out
*Now if you read this carefully
you will find
it's not what you think
it's just your dirty mind
It is just a visit to the dentist!!!
Sent by Tamara
A hungry old trollop from Yemen
Did a pretty good business with He-men.
But she gave up all fucking
In favour of sucking
For the protein contained in the semen.
Hey!! This isn't a joke but it's a poem:
Kissing is a habit,
Fucking is a game.
Boys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.
He says that he loves you,
And you believe it's true,
But when your stomach starts to swell,
He says to hell with you.
15 minutes of pleasure,
9 months of pain,
3 days in the hospital,
A baby with no name.
The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore.
It never would have happened,
If the rubber hadn't tore.
Sent by Zoe_112
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