Today's jokes [10.31.09]

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Patient: (to cosmetic-surgeon) 'Will it hurt, doctor?
Surgeon: 'Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown'.

The Director of the Scottish Tartans Museum, Dr Michael MacDonald
was in America. An old lady fixed her gaze on his 17th Century
sporran and asked, "What, exactly, do you keep in your scrotum?" 

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go 
home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for 
making sex."
The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many 
positions did you come up with?"
Johnny says, "Seventy-three."
The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."
She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about 
you?"
Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just 
lays on top of the girl."
Johnny yells, "Seventy-four." 

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will never be able to
support you.

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