Today's jokes [10.17.09]

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There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
   It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later,
   PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the
   wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area
   and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe
   and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says,
   "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, "We ate the
   crew and drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked,
   "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we
   drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The
   Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi". After looking
   totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you
   know...eat
   their....things"?? The chief says, "No." "No?" asked the rescuers.
   "NO", replied the Chief, " THINGS go better with COKE!!!"

"I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to
her husband as he made his way out the front door. 
 
The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker:
"Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that,
he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.
 
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the
door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed
red roses.
 
At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite
chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer
dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
 
The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied
that he had recovered what could have been a very bad
situation. 
 
His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the
chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never
had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"

How do men sort their laundry? 

     "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". 

What did God say after creating man? 

     "I can do better" 

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an 
anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock 
them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this 
store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who 
explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man 
explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago
and has done for several years. The pharmacist asks man to 
bring in his last purchase and he will try  to match the product.

The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows 
the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the 
customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously 
of the underarm stick variety.

The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push 
up bottom to use."

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