Today's jokes [10.16.09]
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Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated."
Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or
what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation."
Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a little
embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here.
Will you do it?"
Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I
don't understand it, but OK."
He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the
bedside when Fred wakes up.
"Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks.
"It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an
operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple
task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was
operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went
ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be
circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..."
"CIRCUMCISED!" yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!!"
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A
pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics
save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
A: He sold his soul to Santa.
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