Today's stories [1.3.09]

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The world's first fully computerised airliner was ready for its maiden 
flight with out pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area 
automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out 
automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. 
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane 
taxied toward the runway. 
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the airplane 
lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerised 
airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back 
and relax. Nothing can go wrong........nothing can go wrong......nothing 
can go wrong......"

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years
          on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the
          250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to
          50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the
          copier with the shredder.

Presenter (to palaeontologist):"So what would happen if you mated
the woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?"
Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a
mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks."
(GLR)

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