Today's stories [1.16.09]

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Jenn says her husband worked with this guy at the high school.
The guy wanted to measure the wall and he asked Mike (my
husband) for some assistance.  Mike said, "why not use the 
yardstick over there?"  The guy looked at Mike and, very serious,
said, "I can't use that.  The wall is longer than the yardstick."

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to
supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem
reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under
the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not
wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the
form of a company check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to
present these to their banks. The name of the company, 'The Anal
Sex and Fetish Perversion Company.'

  

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you
had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family).
When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got the consent of
the King and the King gave them placard that they hung on
their door while they were having sex.
The placard had F. U. C. K. on it
(Fornication Under Consent of the King).

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