Today's stories [1.15.09]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??

"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work
anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your
bedroom."  (Judy, 8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a
wife!"  (Tom, 5)

Looking for Love: "Heartthrob Fabio announced he is looking for his
dream woman," says Jay Leno. "He says he wants someone who's funny,
secure, independent and has a good personality. You know what's really
sad- the one woman in Hollywood who fits those criteria is Ellen DeGeneres." 

An associate at work a number of years ago related this story which
he swore was true... 
He was dating a Jehovah's Witness, (I don't know what sort of date 
would make, milk and cookies after prayers, or some such thing),
and they were driving along a rural road on a murky day. He muttered
some offhanded obscenity, and his date started scolding him, saying
that He would not want him to swear. Kidding, he swore at her again
when all of a sudden the murky sky turned into a raging cloudburst.
Lighting struck a telephone pole not too far away, and his horrified
date said, "See! I told you He does not want you to swear!" To which
he quipped, "Yeah, but the Son of a Bitch missed, didn't he?". 
They were moving slowly because of the heavy rain, and the girl fairly
leaped out of the car without waiting for it to stop,. and ran off into
the dark never to be seen again.

By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '09 Stories Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31