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Today's stories [1.13.09]

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A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a 
speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off 
while the lady was speaking. She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston 
by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?" Churchill 
sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."


Rubbermaid Inc. is recalling about 60,800 toboggans because 
they can break apart, causing loss of control and injury. They 
are sold under the brand name *Way-Too-Flexible-Flyers*.


Some years back my live-in girlfriend (and now wife) came 
home while I was napping on the living room couch.  I was still 
half asleep when she leaned over me to try and get a kiss.  I 
wanted to say "don't get your hopes up" but then thought 
maybe "don't jump the gun" would be better.  In my half-awake 
state it came out "Don't get your guns up."


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