Today's quotes [1.1.09]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' 
Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' " 

Charlie Brown. 

"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her
eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev." 

Robin Williams.

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell.
Maybe hell is just having to listen to our
grandparents breathe through their noses when
they're eating sandwiches."

Jim Carey. 

"The length of a film should be directly
related to the endurance of the human bladder." 

Alfred Hitchcock. 

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying
and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." 

Peter O'Toole.

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   January '09 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31