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Today's poems [1.3.09]

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               There was a young girl of high station 
               Who ruined her fine reputation 
                    When she said she'd the pox 
                    From sucking on cocks--- 
               She should really have called it "fellation."

1. 




                               Ode to Alcohol
     
   
                        Starkle, starkle, little twink,
                        Who the hell you are I think,
                        I'm not under what they call
                        The alcofluence of incohol.
                        I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
                        I'm just a little slort of sheep.
                        Tee martoonis make a guy
                        Fool so feelish, don't know why
                        Rally don't know who's me yet
                        The drunker I stay the longer I get
                        So just one more to full my cup,
                        I've all day sober to Sunday up.
  


2. 




The parish commission at Roylette 
            Bought their vicar a pristine new toilet. 
                But he still voids his bowels 
                On a heap of old towels, 
            He's so very reluctant to soil it. 

3. 




Tombstone Epitaph

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.

4. 




There once was a man from Horton,
Who had one long ball and one short one,
To make up for his loss,
He had a cock like a hoss,
And could fart like a 650 Norton.

Sent by Dale

5. 



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