Today's poems [1.28.09]

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There was a young gal from Montana
Who had an affair with a banana.
She hugged it and squeezed it,
Loved it and teased it, and said
"It tastes better than a mana." 

There was a young girl named Dalrymple 
            Whose sexual equipment was so simple 
                That on examination they found 
                Little more than a mound 
            In the center of which was a dimple. 

                    There was a young man named Sweeny
                            
                    Who spilt some gin on his weenie,
                            So just to be couth,
                            He added vermouth
                            
                    And slipped his girl a martini.
                            

A frugal young fellow named Wise 
               Gets the most from the dead whores he buys. 
                    After sporting a while 
                    As a gay necrophile, 
               For dessert he has maggot surprise. 

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

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