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Today's poems [1.27.09]

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There was a young sapphic named Anna 
            Who stuffed her friend's cunt with banana, 
                Which she sucked bit by bit 
                From her partner's warm slit, 
            In the most approved lesbian manner. 


                    A crafty young bard named McMahon
                    Whose poetry never would scan,
                            Once said with a pause,
                            "It's prob'ly because
                    I am always attempting to insert as many extra
                            syllables into the ultimate line as I
                            possibly can."


There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all, 
And now he's a college professor.


On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.


            A nudist resort at Benares 
            Took a midget in all unawares. 
                But he made members weep 
                For he just couldn't keep 
            His nose out of private affairs. 


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