Today's poems [1.23.09]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
Ethnologists up with the Sioux
Wired home for two punts, one canoe.
The answer next day
Said, "Girls on the way,
But what the hell's a 'panoe'?"
"Now really, young man, you're a bore,"
Said a Lady Priscilla van Blore.
"I'm covered with sweat
And you haven't come yet
And my God - it is quarter past four!"
Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
everybody was stoned, even a mouse.
The stockings were stuffed with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
The children were wrestling quietly in bed,
with sexy visions of masterbating in their heads.
All of sudden there came such a clatter,
I jumped off my wife's back to see what was the matter.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
from the sound of the crash i knew the fat motherfucker fell.
He snapped to his feet in a sudden flash,
he forgot to cover the crack of his ass.
He showed me the bird from his stubby little hands,
then he whipped out his box of sex toys and giant rubber bands.
All were thrown on the Tree at the same time,
He jumped with the fucking clock chimed.
He flew up the chimney just as fast as he came down,
I could tell he was some kind of professional clown.
He whipped dasher, dancer, and prancer, and vixon,
He kicked comit, cupid, donder and blitzen.
He shrieked loudly into the pale midnight,
Piss on all of you, and have a hell of a night!
Sent by Rob
A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed
Rosalina, a pretty young lass
Had a bruly magnificant ass:
Not rounded and pink,
As you possibly think -
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31