Today's poems [1.22.09]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

               There once was a man named Mort 
               Whose dick was incredibly short 
                    He climbed into bed 
                    And his lady friend said, 
               "That's not a dick, it's a wart. 

The life of a clerk of the session 
               Was strangled in psychic repression. 
                    But his maladies ceased 
                    When his penis uncreased 
               In straight geometric progression. 

                    There once was a lady from Salem
                            
                    Who used to take cocks and inhale 'em.
                            The fruits of these feats:
                            Pubic hairs from her teeth
                            
                    Were saved until Fall when she'd bale 'em.
                            

               There was a young monk from Dundee 
               Who hung a nun's cunt on a tree. 
                    He grabbed her fair ass 
                    And performed a high mass 
               That even the Pope came to see.

A modest young girl named Oola
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '09 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31