Today's poems [1.11.09]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

A corpulent lady named Kroll
Had an idea exceedingly droll:
She went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
And backed in as a Parker House roll.

There was a young fellow from Lees 
            Who handled his tool with great ease. 
                This continual friction 
                Made his sex a mere fiction, 
            But the callus hangs down to his knees. 

There was a young lady named Nance 
               Who learned about fucking in France, 
                    And when you'd insert it 
                    She'd squeeze till she hurt it, 
               And shove it right back in your pants. 

                    A sweet young strip dancer named Jane
                            
                    Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
                            When asked why she wore it
                            She said, "I abhor it,
                            
                    But my juices would spatter like rain,"
                            

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '09 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31