Today's jokes [1.30.09]

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Two men were boasting to each other about their old army 
days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that 
when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, 
click."

"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company 
presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."

"What was the jingle?" asked the first. 

"Oh," replied the other off hand, "just our medals."

Q: Why can't Jesus eat M & M's?
A: Because they fall through the holes in his hands.

What is a macho man?

After getting a blow job, he asks the woman,
'Was it as good for you, as it was for me?'

What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called?

                             Missionary Position Impossible.

Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's dick.

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