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Today's jokes [1.3.09]

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Chain Letter Type lI:  Make a wish!!!

(This is where you have to scroll down)







Really, go on and make one wish!!!









Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!!












Wish something else!!!










Not *that* either, you pervert!!










Is your finger getting tired yet?











You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!!

Wasn't that fun?  Hope you made a great wish.  Now, to make you feel guilty,
here's what I'll do.  First of all, if you don't send this to a certain
number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and
then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.  It's true!   Because
, you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes.

Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.

5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.

10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset with you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

1. 




   A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem.
   The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go
   behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but
   went ahead anyway.
   
   When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of
   and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked
   but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do
   what the doctor said.
   
   As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs
   and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin
   right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive
   'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
   
   Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main
   cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much
   liquid before going to bed.
   
   "So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?"
   
   "Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."
   


2. 




The way to a man's heart is through his feet

(but you need a long knife). 

3. 




A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thick
and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached
the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.
The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest replied, "What did you say?"
The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"
The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!"

4. 




How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
    
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

5. 



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