Today's jokes [1.24.09]
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Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D.C.
Hillary and I just wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased
we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.
In our country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you
to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness.
Therefore, we want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for
shooting President Reagan. We are well aware of how mental stress and pain
could have driven you to such an act of desperation.
Hillary and I are confident you will soon make a complete recovery, and
return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive
Bill Clinton President United States of America
P.S. Just thought you might like to know, Ken Starr is fucking Jodie
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the
best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive
investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,
killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no
apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
How to hunt elephants -- Lawyer's style
Lawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds
around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software
lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the
look and feel of one dropping.
Sent by Alex
A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel
bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?"
"No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my
partner can buy the ticket!"
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