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Today's jokes [1.15.09]

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A husband from Long Island, kissed his wife goodbye and got into his 
Cadillac to drive to work in New York City. He'd gone about a mile when
he remembered that he'd left something in the bedroom. So he turned the 
car around and drove back home.
When he walked into the bedroom, there was his wife, lying totally nude on 
the bed and the neighbor standing totally nude beside her.
The quick-thinking neighbor promptly went into a squatting position on the 
rug and said, "I'm glad you're here, Mr. Jones, because I was just telling 
you wife that if she doesn't pay the milk bill, I'm gonna shit all over 
the floor."


What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings. 


There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the 
husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year 
old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room 
and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with 
mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. 
"Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same 


Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? 

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same 


Q:How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking? 

A:When you look in the refridgorator and there's
  lipstick all over the pickles. 


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