Today's stories [9.5.08]

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My wife is a primary school teacher, and related this tale after
another class returned from a trip to a working farm: 

My wife asked little David if he had enjoyed the trip. 
"Yes it was great - we saw sheep, horses, goats, and f***ers." 
Wife: "er, fine, fine. I know what the sheep and the rest are,
but what is a f***er?" 
David: "Oh, they're the animals that give us milk" 
Wife: "but who said they were called, er, f***ers?" 
David: "that was our teacher. Well actually she called them
"effers," but we all knew what she meant." 

State Trooper on the NYS Thruway (I90) gave me a ticket 
the other day.  Speeding?  No.
     I was driving in the Granny lane (slow) and the Trooper 
pulled up beside me.  I hit a pheasent that stepped into the 
road from the shoulder.  Flew across the lane, hit the 
Trooper's windshield and broke it.
     The Trooper gave me the ticket for flipping him the bird.

The letter from the Air Force colonel in charge of safety said 
that rocket boosters weighing more than 300,000 pounds "have 
an explosive force upon surface impact that is sufficient to 
exceed the accepted overpressure threshhold of physiological 
damage for exposed personnel."

In other words, if a 300,000-pound booster rocket falls on 
someone, he or she will die.

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