Today's stories [9.19.08]
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"I am a Paramedic, recently I was called to
a scene where a man in his late 60s had died and obviously
been there a couple of days. We searched for any sign of
trauma.... None. We looked for anything that might indicate a
medical problem... heart meds etc..... None. The only medicine
we found: Viagra. About that time the coroner arrived (a
strikingly pretty gal) who asked me, "How long has he been
dead?" I replied a couple of days, she said, "Oh so he is stiff
then?" I handed her the Viagra bottle and said, "In more ways
Attila the Hun:
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered
all of Asia by 450 AD--from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire--by
destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his
reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink
lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really
cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he
suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own
blood and was found dead the next morning.
Burn Baby Burn - A Cigar Story
ONLY IN THE U.S. LEGAL SYSTEM
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very
expensive cigars, insured them against ... get this ...fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars,
and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man
filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man
stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that
the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man
In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a
policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were
insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against
fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire,"
it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the
rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed his check,
however, the insurance company had him arrested ... on 24 counts of
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case
being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of
intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive
one year terms!
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