Today's stories [9.12.08]

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In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the 
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is 
punishable by death.

My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first 
mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet 
doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why 
she was  keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the 
kitchen??? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me 
that those were for special occasions".

Now fast forward a few months...

It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and 
his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were 
gone.
Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first 
and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then 
began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came 
mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on 
the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork 
carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they 
didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the 
other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were 
for special occasions!"

Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging 
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness 
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a 
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized 
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms 
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the 
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart 
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife 
were reconciled.

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