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Today's poems [9.6.08]

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                    There was a young fellow from Dallas
                    Who enjoyed doing things with his phallus.
                            So many tricks did he try
                            It became, by and by,
                    Little more than a leather-tough callous.


There was a young man of St. Paul's 
            Possessed the most useless of balls. 
                Till at last, at The Strand, 
                He managed a stand, 
            And tossed himself off in the stalls. 


There was a young man of Dumfries 
            Who said to his girl,"If you please, 
                It would give me great bliss 
                If, while playing with this, 
            You would pay some attention to these!" 


John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.


There was an old curate of Hestion 
            Who'd erect at the slightest suggestion. 
                But so small was his tool 
                He could scarce screw a spool, 
            And a cunt was quite out of the question. 


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