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Today's poems [9.26.08]

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Pardon My French
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The finest culture
  Comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key
  Molly-ponce!

Sally learned
  To speak in French
She's now a dame
  And not a wench

Dick acquired
  That language fair
And now he's swayve
  And deb-an-err

Speaking French
  Will prove you're better
Show you've got a
  Rays-on-debtor

Read in French
   And sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find
  Your tom-pair-doo

Write in French
  And you'll be famous
Just like muss-your
  Albert Camus

You can bet
  Your dairy-air
Your French will prove
  Your salve-war-fare

He who is
  A true believer
Shows his Gallic
  Joyed-a-fever

French cuisine
  Is all the rage
So drink Bored-O
  With soft from-age

Wear a little
  Black beret
And eat cross-ants
  With French calf-A

Then there's all
  That art you know
So speak bow-czar
  And art-new-foe

And what a joy
  To smoke Get-tans
While watching films
  That come from Cans

I guess it's not
  An easy job
To be a phony
  Stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz
  They also play
But there "c'est snob"
  To speak anglais!

1. 




There was a young peasant named Gorse 
               Who fell madly in love with his horse. 
                    Said his wife, "You rapscallion, 
                    That horse is a stallion--- 
               This constitutes grounds for divorce." 

2. 




For sculpture that's really first class 
               You need form, composition, and mass. 
                    To do a good Venus 
                    Just leave off the penis, 
               And concentrate all on the ass. 

3. 




There was an old man of Duluth
Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
He fucked with his nose,
And his fingers and toes,
And he came through a hole in his tooth. 

4. 




               There was a young monk from Dundee 
               Who hung a nun's cunt on a tree. 
                    He grabbed her fair ass 
                    And performed a high mass 
               That even the Pope came to see.

5. 



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