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Today's poems [9.19.08]

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There was a young lady of Arden,
The tool of whose swain wouldn't harden.
Said she with a frown,
"I've been sadly let down
By the tool of a fool in a garden."


               There was a young fellow named Perkin 
               Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. 
                    His wife said, "Now, Perkin, 
                    Stop jerkin' your gherkin: 
               You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!" 


There was a young man named O'Rourke
 Heard babies were brought by the stork,
So he went to the  zoo
And attempted to screw
One old bird -- end-result: didn't work.


Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.

Sent by Todd


               A certain professor named Yarrow 
               Had trouble seducing a sparrow. 
                    When he'd given up hopin' 
                    He pried her jaws open, 
               And filled up her bill with his marrow. 


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