Today's poems [9.19.08]
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There was a young lady of Arden,
The tool of whose swain wouldn't harden.
Said she with a frown,
"I've been sadly let down
By the tool of a fool in a garden."
There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin.
His wife said, "Now, Perkin,
Stop jerkin' your gherkin:
You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!"
There was a young man named O'Rourke
Heard babies were brought by the stork,
So he went to the zoo
And attempted to screw
One old bird -- end-result: didn't work.
Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.
Sent by Todd
A certain professor named Yarrow
Had trouble seducing a sparrow.
When he'd given up hopin'
He pried her jaws open,
And filled up her bill with his marrow.
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