Today's jokes [9.6.08]

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Man in a pub, "If you went camping and woke up in the morning with a
bloody condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?" 
Other man, "Bloody hell, no!"
First man, "Want to come camping?" 

What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning? 

    -Sends him to work.

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out
of the delivery room after his wife gives birth
to their son. Michael says, "How long before we
can have sex?"
The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."

Why does the University of Tennesse football
team wear orange to all their Saturday games? 

     So that they can wear the same outfit to go
     hunting on Sunday, and to work on Monday. 

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an 
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she 
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.  So 
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. 

She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you 
done that and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 
years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the 
brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come 
back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from 
the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come 
here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she 
asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."

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