Today's jokes [9.3.08]
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Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.
Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
Yes, Intercourse....you go between periods and you are expected to come.
President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest
condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried, "My people's
favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power
to 'elp you," replied the Prime Minister.
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien.
"Oh, and one more small favour, please?" said Clinton.
"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in colour, at least 10" long and
4" in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up
and called the President of Trojan Condoms.
"I need a favour, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send
'dem to Hamerica."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, dey hab to be bleu, blanc et rouge in colour; at
least 10" long and 4" in diameter."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yah," said the Prime Minister, "an' print 'MADE IN CANADA, SIZE MEDIUM'
on each one."
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar
in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err,
which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside
to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body
hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on
his stool, looked down at the quivering little man
and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,
"I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the
hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old
"Bull!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill my
"It appears that he choked on it, sir."
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them!
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