Today's jokes [9.27.08]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A negro was travelling in china. In a remote village, he came upon an
skipping stones across a lake. At each bounce of the stone off the
water, the mountains
surrounding the lake echoed back, "CHING...CHANG...CHUN..."
The negro was amazed. He asked the chinaman what was going on.
"Oh", said the chinee, "magic spirit of the lake echo back the names
of your ancient
ancestors as your stone skip upon the sacred waters".
"Wow", said the negro, "can I try it?".
"Certainly", replied the chinaman.
The negro picked up the biggest stone he could find, and gave it a
mighty heave across the
waters...and as it skipped across the waters, the mountains echoed
Tombstone Epitaph In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
stops the troops and waits to see what happens.
Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entire
division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.
But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and
cups his hands to his lips. "Go back!" he shouts. "Go back! It's
hopeless-- there's TWO of them!"
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a
fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room,
peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare
yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and
horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at
the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a
few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She
met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her
"Will I be acquitted?"
Two gynecologists meet at lunch.
The first one says, "I had a patient this morning with
a clit like a dill pickle.
The second one says,"That big or that green?"
The first one says,"That Sour."
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30