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Today's jokes [9.26.08]

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Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English.  One 
office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news 
that she was being fired.  He started the conversation with: 
"Miss Symthe, I really don't know how we're going to get along 
without you, but starting Monday, we're going to try.

1. 




A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of aircraft's electronic navigation and communication
equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his
position or course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted
sign and held it in the helicopter's window.
The sign said "WHERE AM I"? in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large
sign an held it in a building window. The sign said, "YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER".
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer
to SEATAC ( Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE
IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, "
I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because they gave me a
technically correct but completely useless answer".

2. 




The boss called one of his employees into the office.  "Rob," he 
said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off 
in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales 
position, and one month after that you were promoted to district 
manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, 
you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it's time for me to 
retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you 
say to that?" 

"Thanks," said the employee. 

"Thanks?" the boss replied.a "Is that all you can say?" 

"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad." 

3. 




What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?

Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?

4. 




A man was taken to court for stealing an item from a store.  The man said 
to the judge, "Your Honor, I'm a Christian. I've become a new man. But I 
have and old nature also. It was not my new man who did wrong.  It was my 
old man."
The judge responded, "Since it was the old man that broke the law, we'll 
sentence him to 60 days in jail. And since the new man was an accomplice 
in the theft, we'll give him 30 days, too.  I therefore sentence you both 
to 90 days in jail."



5. 



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