Today's jokes [9.20.08]

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"We'd like a room, please," the bloke said, nodding toward his misses. "We 
were married this morning."
"Congratulations," the desk clerk said, "how about the bridal?"
"No thanks, just a room. I'll hold her by the ears until she gets the hang 
of it."

Six stages of married life:

1: Tri-weekly
2: Try weekly
3: Try weakly
4. Try oysters
5: Try anything
6: Try to remember

A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.

They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.

Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like 
forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. 
Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking
so long to make this shot?"

"My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make 
this shot a good one," said Bob.

"Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from 
here." 

   After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was
   nursing a king-size hangover
   and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?"
   "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied
   the wife.
   "Piss on him," answered the husband.
   "You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."
   "Well, fuck him," said the husband.
   "I did, and you go back to work in the morning."
   

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