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Today's jokes [9.11.08]

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A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love
and going to get married. He says,  "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going
to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm
going to marry."
The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women
into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for
a while.
He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."

1. 




A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to 
call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before 
the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a 
very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is 
the husk only, the shell...the nut has gone to heaven."

2. 




Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?

     - Neither did he. 

3. 




A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
 contractions are only two minutes apart!"  "Is this her first child?" the
 emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her
 husband!"

4. 




BUY YUGO WAR BONDS

For $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developing
country just out of the clutches of communism.
What your $$$ buyz:  Russian ammo for one freedom fighter for
one month for the ethnic clensing!
Their motto:  I wanns be like Ike!  A little behind the times, BUT!
They model themselves after the US of A.
They want to establish a land- first ridding themselves of
undesireables (like the US did against the native inhabitants)
Why not? What's good enough for US is good enuff for them!

5. 



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