Today's jokes [9.1.08]
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A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her
looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically.
He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. It looks like a
monkey. What an ugly kid."
The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing
uncontrollably. The conductor sees her and comes over to her to
He says, "Lady, relax...things are going to be all right...we'll get
off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe we'll even find a
banana for your monkey."
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to
his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to
say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
Q. What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A. They both have balls just for decoration.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.
I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different
cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own
computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and
Home Pages. They say they're doing everything they can to keep their
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