Today's quotes [8.23.08]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" EB:
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
scatter oneself over a wide area."
-- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4
The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
-- Salvador Dali
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown, Peanuts [Charles Schulz]
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered
other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
--Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30