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Today's poems [8.6.08]

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eyed the girls and had a ball,
Lots of whistles, even a catcall,
Thus... Humpty had a great fall!

Then came the cold winter breeze
and Humpty's arse began to freeze...
though winter's sure to be a dreary thing... 
Let's wish Humpty a bouncy spring!


There was a young man, name of Snyder, 
            Who took out a girl just to ride her. 
                She allowed him to feel 
                From her neck to her heel, 
            But never would let him inside her. 


A cautious young fellow named Tunney 
               Had a whang that was worth any money. 
                    When eased in half-way, 
                    The girl's sigh made him say, 
               "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey." 


               A patrician young fellow named Lear 
               Used to wash off his bollocks with beer. 
                    Said he, "By the gods, 
                    This is good for the cods--- 
               It will lengthen my fucking career. 


                    There was a young girl of Penzance
                    Who boarded a bus in a trance.
                            The passengers fucked her,
                            Likewise the conductor.
                    The driver shot off in his pants.


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