Today's poems [8.31.08]

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There was a gay dog from Ontario 
            Who fancied himself a Lothario. 
                At a wench's glance 
                He'd snatch off his pants 
            And make for her Mons Venerio. 

               There was a young man of St. Giles 
               Who'd walked thousands and thousands of miles, 
                    From the Cape of Good Hope, 
                    Just to bugger the Pope, 
               But he couldn't---the pontiff had piles. 

               There once were two brothers named Luntz 
               Who buggered each other at once. 
                    When asked to account 
                    For this intricate mount, 
               They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts." 

There was an old man of Kentucky, 
               Said to his old woman,"Oi'll fuck ye." 
                    She replied, "Now you wunt 
                    Come anigh my old cunt, 
               For your prick is all stinking and mucky," 

"At a seance," said a young man named Post, 
            "I was being sucked off by a ghost; 
                Someone switched on the lights 
                And there in guaze tights, 
            On his knees, was Tobias mine host."

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