Today's poems [8.29.08]

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There was an old sculptor named Phidias 
            Whose knowledge of art was invidious. 
                He carved Aphrodite 
                Without any nightie--- 
            Which startled the purely fastidious. 

                    On the breasts of a barmaid named Gail
                            
                    Was tattoo'd the price of her ale.
                            And for the sake of the blind
                            Upon her behind
                            
                    Was the same information in Braille.
                            

                    You've heard of the Duchess of York,
                            
                    She's twice been blessed by the stork.
                            The Duke will fuck
                            Naught else but a duck,
                            
                    While the Duchess she frequents the park.
                            
                                              

There was a young woman named Hunt 
At a costume ball, dressed as a cunt. 
She teamed up with Nick, 
Who had come as a dick, 
To perform an xxxceptional stunt!

My back aches, my pussy is sore,
I simply can't fuck any more,
I'm covered with sweat,
And you haven't come yet,
And my God, it's a quarter to four!

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