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Today's poems [8.26.08]

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An unfortunate fellow named Chase 
Had an ass that was not quite in place, 
And he showed indignation 
When an investigation 
Showed that some people shit through their face, 

1. 




Part 2 of 3
Now, the Bishop was nobody's fool,
He'd been to a good public school,
So he took down their britches
And buggered those bitches
With his ten-inch episcopal tool.


2. 




A company of Grenadier Guards 
               While traversing the park, formed in squads, 
                    Saw two naked statues 
                    At three-quarter pratt views, 
               Which perceptibly stiffened their rods. 

3. 




               There was a young Scot in Madrid 
               Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid. 
                    When they said, "Are you faint?" 
                    He replied, "No, I ain't, 
               But I don't feel as good as I did." 

4. 




On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

5. 



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