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Today's poems [8.19.08]

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               A team playing baseball in Dallas 
               Called the umpire a shit out of malice. 
                    While this worthy had fits 
                    The team made eight hits 
               And a girl in the bleachers named Alice. 


Mary had a little lamb,
The news made every front page,
With pictures of her being taken to jail,
Cause you see, he was under age.


There once was a man from Sydney
Who stuck it in up to her kidney
But a man from Quebec
Got it up to her neck
He had a big one didn't he!


If you're speaking of actions immoral 
               Then how about giving the laurel 
                    To doughty Queen Esther, 
                    No three men could best her--- 
               One fore, one aft, and one oral. 


There was a young lady from Brewster
Who's ass was so nice that I goosed her,
        But her panties were thin
        And my finger slipped in
And it still just don't smell like it used ter.


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