Today's poems [8.15.08]
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There was an old Abbot of Khief
Who thought the Inpenitent Thief
Had bollocks of brass
And an amethyst ass.
He died in this awful belief.
There was a young girl of Tonga
Used to diddle herself with a conga.
When asked how it feels
To be pleasured by eels,
She said, "just like a man, only longer."
A near-sighted chap named Coulter
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.
There was a young lady from Waste
Who fled from a man in some haste.
She tripped as she ran,
And fell flat on her pan---
She sometimes still dreams that she's chaste.
There was a young lady named Sue
Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw.
But one leads to the other,
And now she's a mother---
Let this be a lesson to you.
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