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Today's stories [7.21.08]

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After my recent breakup and the hell I went through, 
I quickly dropped a few pounds. Not quite Ally-McBeal- 
thin but close. I ran into a friend of mine who was surprised at 
the quick change and commented, "Damn, you've lost a lot of 
weight". My response to him,  "Yep, lost 220 pounds of fat 
German bastard".


An American tourist in South America had the misfortune to be attacked
by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge,
he leapt into the river - and was devoured by piranha fish.



A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room 
complaining of abdominal pains. 
During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were 
pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found 
the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she 
inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby. 


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